Meet Mr. Kobayashi, my Japanese grandfather...

I first met Mr. Kobayashi shortly after the March 2011 Earthquake while volunteering at the base American Red Cross.  Not much was really going on as I had the early morning shift - Our tent was specifically set up for those workers that were flying in to help out with the Tsunami disaster some 100+ miles north of us.  So the rush was minimal, just soldiers milling in and out awaiting transportation.

My job was to keep the coffee coming and restock the tables with donated baked good and breakfast items, which during the "rush" wasn't all too tasking.  However, after the rush I went back to our little corner to wait and read a book I brought so I wouldn't fall asleep.  Others brought their crafts of crocheting, knitting, or the base paper...in other words, not a whole lot was happening! While waiting for our next "rush" in walks this tiny old Japanese man wearing an American Red Cross jacket with the sweetest smile and proceeds to sit down at our table. Of course, we all look up and smile and say, "Hello!".  He proceeded to sit down next to a lady at the end of the table as if he knew her, or so I thought.  He was wearing the Red Cross jacket so I thought that they were well acquainted with one another, but as I watched and "etheled" I could slowly tell she was feigning interest in him which clued me in she did not want to be bothered.

Watching this little old man with his bright smile trying to start a conversation in his best "English" next to the lady crocheting who couldn't be bothered was painful. I just had to go rescue him! As with all old people, I am curious to know their story ~ where they're from? How old are they? Married? Children? I'm fascinated with the stories I've heard over the years...and being in Japan, guessing his age, I assumed he might have been around during WWII.  I'm curious about these things..especially now that we have several US military bases here.  What do they think and feel about us being here? 

I suppose my fascination comes from growing up with my grandmother, who escaped the northern winters by spending it with our military family.  We always seemed to be stationed somewhere warm. She was a Seneca Indian born on the Tonawanda Indian Reservation from the Iroquois Nation in Western NY.  We always looked forward to her visits. At bed time my sister and I would take turns sleeping with her when she stayed with us. It was such a treasure. We'd scratch her back as she'd tell stories of when she was a little girl.  Mostly of what life was life growing up on the reservation where we're from and what it was like "back then".  She was born in 1903, so she had plenty of years of experience and my sister and I were always fascinated with her and her siblings and life on "The Rez"...I'm digressing, but I know that's where my fascination comes from. I want to know the stories behind those dimmed bright eyes, the story of the wrinkles on their hands and face.  I want them to know that they MATTER!

Upon moving seats I saw that he had two hearing aids, inwardly I groaned and chuckled, I knew the challenge ahead!  I wondered how this was going to go, especially since I didn't know Japanese and his English was very difficult to understand.  We soon found out that we both live in Kusabana, and after further probing on his part of where, we realized that we live on the same road about a mile apart.  He asked if he could stop by sometime and, of course, I said, "Yes!"  What made me giggle next is that he pulled out his cell phone and asked for my number and if we could take a picture with one another -  He was 81!! Those tech savvy Japanese!

Over the course of the year since we've met, he has shown David and I "his country".through "his eyes".  I love this man.  He has welcomed me into his home and into his life.  I can ride my bike to his home and take "tea" with him and his wife.  I am greeted with "Dozo, dozo" (come in, come in) by both of them.  Mrs Kobayashi does not speak a word of English, but her warm smile and eyes remind me of my grandmother.  There is such a kindness there that when I sit down on the floor at the table - I am home.

My grandfather died when I was 5. I miss him. I didn't have that experience of knowing him. But meeting Kobaya san has given me that experience of having a grandfather. He calls just to say hello and check on me.  When his garden produces the newest vegetable he shares it with me.  Oftentimes I come home and I know he's been by by the goodies on my stoop.  He has taken me to many local dance ceremonies at his shrine, I even went to the March 3rd "Bean Ceremony" where it's a mixed combination of Mardi Gras and Puxatawny Phil...that's for another story.  Last year on my birthday he showed up with the most beautiful two dozen tea roses I'd ever seen ~ it made me weepy, I was so touched.  So this June 6th he will turn 83.  What do I get someone who has EVERYTHING? He is totally enthralled with the Western culture and the US.  Volunteering with American Red Cross on base here he has met many important people who have given him various trinkets and tokens from America.  But he means more to me than some friend from work, he's family.  Each time I visit Kobiya san's home he's always showing me pictures. He's always taking pictures. Then I realized, that's it! I'm going to make a photo album for him of our past year together.  It's taken me all week to narrow down which photos I want, but what will make it even more special is that I will include pictures in there of our Gyoza Party tomorrow in my home.  What's so special about that?  Mr. Takahashi will be a guest here, as well.  They have not seen one another in 26 years.  I think that's pretty special!

Morning tea with Tak san

Yesterday morning I had the pleasure of having Tak San stopping by for a brief visit. It all started with a phone call to him about 8:45, except, it did not go as planned. You see, Tak San is 91 years old and a little hard of hearing without the help of is hearing aid. So our conversation went something like this...

Tak San: "Moshi, Moshi"

Me: "Hello Tak San, Ohiyo Gozymas" (Good Morning)

Tak San: "Moshi, Moshi"

Me: "Moshi, Moshi?"

Tak San: "Hai"

Me: Hello, Tak San this is Lori"

Tak San: Moshi, Moshi...

I'm sure you get the gist so after about 5 minutes of moshi, moshi and Chota matte, kudusai (just a minute, please) and Tak san readjusting his hearing aide we decided that it was best he stop by my home. He lives in an apartment about two minutes away...maybe about 5-10 minutes for him, depending on how he feels that day.

I'm drawn to this sweet man. I think because he reminds me of my grandma Blueye.  He is a very soft spoken man, who is very hard of hearing and likes to make jokes, too.  He says that his Japanese friends don't understand him because they don' t have a sense of humor. This makes me chuckle because he got a big kick out that just telling! There is also a gentleness to him and I suppose that's what brings about the similarities.  I wish that I had a picture of him and I didn't think to ask him yesterday while we sat outside in the morning sunshine drinking tea.  His brief visit lasted 2.5 hrs and ended when the noon whistle blew.  I wish it hadn't, I would have loved to have visited with him longer...but in those few hours this is what I learned:

Tak san was born Jan 30,1921 in Ohme City.  He grew up in Tachikawa and attended University in Shinjuku where he studied engineering. When he was 12 he studied English from an American lady who married a Japanese man.  Back then it was rare for Japanese to learn English. Back then if you were educated in the Sciences you spoke German, and if you studied the Arts it was French because those are the two countries where many attended university.  He was 19 when Tokyo was first bombed during WWII.  He was eating Soba noodles and wondered why the Japanese military were doing practice runs on their own people? They never imagined that it was the US.  He said the emperor's guards hoisted balloons around the palace so that the pilots would know not to bomb it.  It was only later did they realize that it was General Dolittle who bombed them then crashed in China.  He said that the Japanese had the highest respect for him because it took a lot of courage, bravery, and sacrifice to do that knowing he might not return home. This statement surprised and awed me.  It's hard to wrap my brain around what they must have thought and felt towards America back then being an American living here now. 

Tak san was married for almost 63 years and  they had 4 children - 3 sons, and 1 daughter; and 8 grandchildren each with one boy and one girl.  His sons live around the metropolitan Tokyo area sadly, he never hears from them.  This includes the son that lives in the same apartment complex as his. This saddens me. You can tell this makes him very sad, but he bucks up and says that they must work all day to provide for their wives.  His wife passed away Oct 26, 2010. He misses her every day.  On the 26th of each month he visits her grave and brings her flowers.  When he wakes up he tells her good morning, and before he sleeps he tells her goodnight and thanks her for staying with him throughout the day and night.  He says that not a moment goes by where he wants to share something with her, or he is reminded of her.  When he threads a needle, he is reminded of her. When he pours tea, he is reminded of her.  This made me cry...it was hard not, but he just went on to say that to him she was the Best Wife.

Currently, he is staying in a small apartment that his son rents for him until his son's house is built.  Then he'll go live with them upon completion. He gets very lonely if he stays cooped up too long during the day so he amuses himself by riding the bus around town and people watch.  He makes me laugh!  He says that he wonders why Japanese are so serious all the time..he watches their faces on the bus and wonders what they are thinking? Where are they going? They must not be happy people because nobody smiles.  I can't say for sure whether they are unhappy, but I do know that it's rare to see Japanese people smile out in public unless they are amongst their intimate friends.  Sometimes, he'll ride the bus to the local mall in town just buy some candy or he'll go to a store that sells international foods so he can send it to his daughter up in Hokkaido, where she lives in a small country town.  During one of his outings he found a little hidden cafe where he'll have lunch at sometimes.  That's if he's "feeling physically fit to walk there" he proclaims with a chuckle.  This statement made me laugh out loud because at 91 he walks EVERYWHERE!  He has promised to take me there sometime - we'll walk, of course!

Meet the Nakamura's, my Japanese parents!

Meet the Nakamura's, Junko and Hideo san. Or as I call them, oka and oto san.  I first told you about them in one of my first posts and how I met them walking Oliver.  We have come a long way since that first meeting. My japanese is recognizable but minimal and their english is much better, although none of us agree on the others opinion...so we have concluded that we speak "J-ENGLISH"  In the beginning when Oto san was not around we would go out together and carry notepads to converse.  The japanese can read english but they can't speak it, weird I know.  But since then, life with them has been a whirlwind!

Junko san is the silliest and sweetest person and one can't help but crack up when around her. Not that she is funny "haha" a jokester she is not, but if there was ever a blonde japanese woman, she is definitely it!   On top of her many "blonde" moments she is probably the most truthfully blunt person I've ever met.  She means no harm in her bluntness but it's so funny that she is so completely honest on what she thinks or feels.  She does not beat around the bush.  Kae, her daughter, says its her blood type and she can't help it.  The japanese believe that blood type drives the personality.  For instance, I walk Oliver several times a day here I've run into many, many people inquiring about him. She's curious to know who all I have met or talked to, which ususally ends with me describing them because she doesn't recognize their name...I have to laugh because almost everyone I describe to her upon recognition she tells me to be careful because their crazy, and I hate to say it, she's right. (smile) Another example is,  I started training for a half marathon in August and around October she tells me, "Lori San, you look good. When I first met you when you sit down your belly would stick out (as she gestures with her hands)!" Yikes! Junko san, be gentle! LOL I was a size 12 to which I'm a proud size 10 working towards an 8.  She can't believe how "fat" americans are.  You see there are very few "heavy" japanese which is mostly due to them eating every kind of vegetable imaginable with very little meat...but I can't help but think that their thin because they WALK and BICYCLE everywhere!!  Nonetheless, she worries about me being alone all day, about me walking barefoot all the time - it's not good for woman to have cold feet; and she's always surprising me with little things she's found at the store.  I couldn't ask for a better friend, or mother...she's always feeding us.

Mr. Nakamura - Oto san. His english is much better than Junko sans and when I first met them he did all of our translating for us.  I give him alot of credit because it was mostly girl talk! You know, "where do you shop?, Who cuts your hair?, etc " He even drives us shopping and waits in the mall lounge.  He is a good man.  He is also a force to be reckoned with, and I suspect a very shrewd businessman.  He once worked for a large printing company here and retired 10 yrs. ago.  Last spring I decided to try the japanese version of the "Schwann" man.  This was fine and dandy except that every time I received a bill it was higher and higher..so I went to him for an explanation as I can't read kanji.  He was not a happy man because upon answering several questions he told me I should cancel my business with them and demand a refund.  His reason, because all my catalogs and order forms were in japanese and they were charging me for them, along with hidden "fees" that I actually had the option of declining - this was NOT explained to me.  He immediately set up a meeting with the company and it was not like anything I've seen before. I thought I'd just sign a few papers to close my account and they would act as my interpreter.  Instead, we had formal tea with the gentleman and got the niceties out of the way he immediately started talking with him harshly. I immediately felt like I was 12 yrs old and knew that this was a scolding - Kae and I locked eyes and we just sat there with our hands folded. I was too scared to move!  I don't know exactly what he said but whatever it was the gentlemen immediately bowed the lowest bow I had ever witnessed along with a very earnest and repeated "Gomenasai" -I'm sorry then turned and repeated it to me.  This meeting not only cancelled my account but also had the company return to me all hidden fees and reimbursement for weekly papers and order forms. His reason?  If they are going to have american customers then they need to have all paperwork in english.  I felt bad for the man!

On the non-business side, he now keeps himself busy gardening, or as the japanese call themselves, "Farmers". I laugh because its really just a small, small, small garden.  I will not knock it though because he grows everything under the sun.  I am very grateful that he shares his garden with David and I. Tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, lettuce, eggplant, sky beans(kinda like edamame) snow peas, green beans, watermelon, corn...I'm sure there's more but that's all I can remember right now.  Everything from his garden is fresh, delicious, sweet and juicy...it reminds me of my grandma's and the Bruning's garden. Yum!

 I am glad that Junko san was brave enough to speak to me last February, my life here and my experiences would not have been the same.  I have seen and done more things with them that I would not have been able to experience had David and I lived on base instead of out in town.  Because of them, I now know where to go for all the best deals on food, shopping, furniture outside of the "mainstream".  I have friends that I can pop in unannounced for a cup of tea. I no longer have formal tea with them in the living room and have moved into the kitchen.  This gesture alone made me feel part of the family! However, we still have our tea in proper cups and saucers, it makes me wish that I had brought mine that my great aunt and grandma had given me (they are in storage)...they would definitely been put to good use!

Jan 1st - Mochi time!

Last year our friends Skip and Rei Bennett invited us to go on a Mystery Tour on New Years Day.  This year our new friends the Nagatsuka's gave us mochi made by one of their family members.  David and I were very appreciative of this gesture, the only problem was was that we hadn't a clue how to prepare or eat the blocks of mochi given us.  This mochi looked like hard white bricks, and the mochi I was familiar with was supposed to be chewy and it's shaped like an orange with a bean inside. Why didn't we ask them how to prepare you wonder? Well, you see the Nagatsuka's do not speak ANY english - AT. ALL.  Eriko san and I do all our  conversations by charades.  I did have her over once for tea and Rei as our translator, and we had a lovely time but I digress...!  Thankfully, our friends Kae and Nobu Matsuzawa, were more than happy to teach us.

What is Mochi?  Mochi is made by pounding rice over and over again. The pounding of the rice makes it quite gummy and pliable. Last Fall, David and I were able to see how mochi is made and it's a very long and physically drawn out process along with a large dose of trust.  The tools used to make mochi is a very large mallet and pestle. As one person used the mallet, the other person turns the lump of rice in a very quick and rhythmic pattern.  I found out that its then shaped and dried.

On New Years Day, Kae and Nobu san came over for lunch and then for dessert we had mochi.  I wasn't sure how these hard blocks of rice would turn gummy.  To me they looked like dried out indian corn bread and I was very tempted to heat it up, butter and salt then eat!  Instead, Kae gave me a pan that allowed me to toast on top of the stove, which can also be doubled as a toaster.  This process was quite easy to do, the moc hi is simply heated until it starts getting puffy.  Once it poofs, you poke it with a chopstick, if its oozes it's done!  Of course it must be done on a very low heat or it could burn, like the one in the picture.  Once heated  it can be eaten several different ways; soy sauce and seaweed, crushed soybeans with sugar, or with soy sauce and sugar.  Each one is quite tasty, but the soy sauce and seaweed was our favorite!! Oishiikatta!!

Top 10 2011 memories of Japan

Where did the year go?  It's hard to believe that it's been 10 months since I've last posted. I have about 20 posts started but not finished...there is just so much to tell that by the end of each day I'm too tired to write and then I tell myself that I'll finish it tomorrow.  Well, we know how that turned out!! So my goal is to post at least once a week in 2012, but again it started out with a bang and just keeps getting busier.

Here is my Top 10 experiences for 2011!

1. Jan 1st David and I went on a Mystery Tour to 4 different prefectures of Japan, and to this day we still don't know where because our entire tour was in Japanese..to include our brochure!

2. In February during my daily walk I met the Nakurma's - Junko san and Otosan along with their daughter, Kae who is my japanese BFF.  The Nakurma's have proclaimed themeselves as my Japanese parents and their 3rd daughter. Im a touched beyond belief and humbled by the generosity of their friendship, home, family garden, and much much more. They have made my first year here unforgetable!

3. March 11.  I woke to the most beautiful red sunrise and never imagined that later on that day a 9.0 magnitude earthquake would devastate Japan and rock the lives of the people here forever. It was and still his heartbreaking.  One of my acquaintances lost her best friend of 40s.  She lived in Sendai where she was taken away in the Tsunami.  I could only hug her in my arms as she cried.

4. After the earthquake, I volunteered at the the base American Red Cross and met the sweetest old man, Mr. Kobyashi.  After getting to know one another that day we found out that we live only a mile apart...to which he frequently rides his bike to my home delivering fresh vegetables from his garden. Oh and he's 83!

5. Due to a large amount of people evacuating back to America. Many english classes were left without a teacher.  I was contacted about substituting for these classes and I have not slowed down since! I teach 4 days a week, various hours...I'm really quite busy.

6. Summer went by in a FLASH...it was quite hot but David and I were able to visit downtown Tokyo, only to find out it was a holiday and everything was closed! But we did get to visit the Tokyo Tower.

7. Oh! Forgot about the Cherry Tree Season!!! Gorgeous, beautiful, breathtaking don't even come close to expressing how spectacular the blossoms are here. It's like walking under a canopy of PINK! My favorite color by the way!

8. Went to several different types of festivals that were interesting. Ginger festival, Tanabata festival, Firefly...apparently there's many many more but due to the Earthquake in honor of the 10,000 plus lives lost most were cancelled.

9. We climbed Mt. Takeo and Mt. Mitake.  They each have their own beauty but Mt. Mitake is my favorite!

10. We have a running club here and I decided to join.  In December I ran my first half-marathon! Yeah Me!!

Okay so I said 10, but....

11.  David and I finished out the year by having a traditional Soba noodles dinner New Years Eve with Mr. and Mrs. Kobyashi.  Soba noodles are very long and the Japanese eat them at the end of year to wish for a long life and good health for the coming year!  It was delicious!!

Stay tuned for 2012...!

When I am 90...

Spring has arrived - It came today bringing with it a bright sun, a warm breeze, a sky filled with blue and budding flowers and trees at every glance.   It also brought me a special dose of homesickness.  It reminded me of being back home on the Rez...the smell, the breeze, the river.  I wanted to be home taking a walk, not here in Japan.  I have to be honest I didn't really want to walk in this weather today it amplifies my homesickness. But Oliver's tummy is upset, so in fear of him throwing up in the house we went for a walk.

Along our normal path Oliver and I had the pleasure of meeting the sweetest 90 year old man. Yes, I said N-I-N-E-T-Y!  When we came upon him I did my usual head nod and smiled, sometimes I'll say, "Konnichiwa"  and sometimes I don't.  We've never seen him before  so I chose to do the first and he spoke to me instead.  Unfortunately, I can only understand a few catch phrases and I didn't understand him and answered with Gomenisai, ni hongo wakaru nai (I'm sorry, but I don't speak Japanese).  He then asked if I spoke English and when I answered, "Yes", to my surprise he said in perfect English, "Where are you from?"  This opened up a completely unexpected conversation.

Once our formalities were done, we walked along the river bank for two miles.  He was a little hard of hearing, and we walked a little slow but during this walk I learned that he had spent one year in Montgomery, Alabama attending the Air College  learning about a new aircraft that McDonnell-Douglas was building,  the Jet Engine!  He was chosen by his company to learn about the new plane and how to fly it.  I learned that it took him over a week to get America.  One day  for each stop - Tokyo to Wake Island, Wake Island to Hawaii, Hawaii to San Francisco.  He then traveled by train from San Francisco to Montgomery, which took 3 nights and 4 days.  PHEW. I'm tired of just thinking about it!

I also learned that he has four children, 3 sons and 1 daughter.  He has a granddaughter that just married an Australian and is to meet him in a few days.  He was very happy that he could practice his English on me.  I also learned that he is just visiting for a few days, but is looking for an apartment or home close to his son, whom he is visiting.  Our walk only lasted about 45 minutes, but I wished it were longer, he had to return to his son's house.  His daughter-in-law was coming to make lunch, then he was going to catch a train to Tachikawa for a dental appointment.   Did I mention he was 90?!! Yes, he was traveling by himself.

I never did catch his name, but that's alright because what I learned is that even though homesickness has a way of creeping up on you, push through it and find the positive.  I was able to feel past this, enjoy the beauty of today, this sweet man helped me recognize that when I'm ninety,  I want to walk two miles on my own with a sound mind!  So, "Thank You" kind stranger for sharing your walk with me on this beautiful Spring day.

Conserving Energy - Roulette Style!

Since March 11, Each day is a barrage of public service announcements and warning from the Giant Voice in our city.  We didn't have a CLUE of what was being said and the first few days we relied on rumors. Thankfully, Rei, our Japanese friend who lives on base, would kindly listen for the announcements and interpret them for us.  Now, finally, Fussa City gives Yokota heads up for those of us living off base and the announcement is then posted on FaceBook. Thank you, Mr. Zuckerman!

Oh yes, Public Service announcements...well,  we found out that the majority of them are notifications of our rolling blackouts.  In order to conserve energy, Tokyo is divided up by its suburbs, so to speak, and we are subject to 3-4hr rolling blackouts.  Sort of like Russian Roulette.  Instead of a gun it's with energy.   So some days it's from 12:30 to 16:30, the next is from 9:30 - 12:30, etc..you get the picture. Sometimes if the city has been good on conserving energy we get a reprieve by cancelling the next day's blackouts and don't always find out until AFTER you've altered you schedule. Grrrrr...!  These rolling blackouts have become quite the aggravation making it hard to plan my day around...I have an order to my day with regards to cleaning my home and making dinner.  So my housework rolls with the blackouts, too.  Not to mention, my walks with Oliver..he's a little discombobulated, as well. 

But amongst all this disorder...(insert evil hee-hee) David and I have found our humor.  A little tid-bit, the Japanese do not have four-way stops here, or even three-way stops for that matter.  Our first blackout occurred at 6:30pm and it was to last until 9:30 so we decided to venture out with Oliver for a walk.  David wanted to take my day route in the dark, I was like no way there may be Gah-hiite..(Ghosts)..there's a shrine along the route that has dressed up baby Buddha's. It's just a little creepy..he laughed and we headed towards Fussa...over the bridge...it was cold that night and the wind was whipping, what were we thinking??  Well all this second guessing flew out of our minds, forgetting the cold,  when we came across our first intersection with the lights out (it was pitch black).  Did I mention that the Japanese are probably the politest society I know?

Picture this, you have to, walking along, pitch black, no moon, and the wind being very, very cold...then imagine coming across a VERY BUSY four way intersection with no light signal and no one knows what a four-way stop is.  It was hilarious!  The cars were doing one of two things. 1) they were politely scooching up into the intersection, tapping on their horn or 2) just kinda creeping up then blowing through.   Now the tapping of the horn wasn't  a "hey, I'm here watch out" it was a "No, no, you go..." and then the other would tap back, "No. No. I insist, you go..." and back in forth this would go. We had found our evening  entertainment.  We stood on the corner for about five minutes watching the cars politely tap back and forth, going, not going, the heck with it, I'm barreling through, making up our own imagined conversation  of the drivers and couldn't stop laughing!!  I'm chuckling now,  just thinking about it. (insert evil hee-hee-hee ...)

It didn't occur to us to video tape this until AFTER we got home.  We have had several blackouts since then but not at night.  I promise to videotape the next time we have one at night.  We figure that videotaping them at night would be less noticeable than during the day.  The Japanese have a hard enough time figuring out how to cross during the day, let alone stopping to pause and wonder what those CRAZY Gaijin's are doing on the sidewalk??!  Our blackouts are opened ended until the reactors are controlled.  Things here are finding their own "new" normal - Gas has trickled back in, there are more cars on the road; shelves are still bare and when supplies do come in they are bought just as quick.  I, finally, saw some of my old dog walking friends this past Sunday.  I am happy. So until our "new" normal is here to stay... I will continue to find humor in my everyday living!