Meet Mr. Kobayashi, my Japanese grandfather...

I first met Mr. Kobayashi shortly after the March 2011 Earthquake while volunteering at the base American Red Cross.  Not much was really going on as I had the early morning shift - Our tent was specifically set up for those workers that were flying in to help out with the Tsunami disaster some 100+ miles north of us.  So the rush was minimal, just soldiers milling in and out awaiting transportation.

My job was to keep the coffee coming and restock the tables with donated baked good and breakfast items, which during the "rush" wasn't all too tasking.  However, after the rush I went back to our little corner to wait and read a book I brought so I wouldn't fall asleep.  Others brought their crafts of crocheting, knitting, or the base paper...in other words, not a whole lot was happening! While waiting for our next "rush" in walks this tiny old Japanese man wearing an American Red Cross jacket with the sweetest smile and proceeds to sit down at our table. Of course, we all look up and smile and say, "Hello!".  He proceeded to sit down next to a lady at the end of the table as if he knew her, or so I thought.  He was wearing the Red Cross jacket so I thought that they were well acquainted with one another, but as I watched and "etheled" I could slowly tell she was feigning interest in him which clued me in she did not want to be bothered.

Watching this little old man with his bright smile trying to start a conversation in his best "English" next to the lady crocheting who couldn't be bothered was painful. I just had to go rescue him! As with all old people, I am curious to know their story ~ where they're from? How old are they? Married? Children? I'm fascinated with the stories I've heard over the years...and being in Japan, guessing his age, I assumed he might have been around during WWII.  I'm curious about these things..especially now that we have several US military bases here.  What do they think and feel about us being here? 

I suppose my fascination comes from growing up with my grandmother, who escaped the northern winters by spending it with our military family.  We always seemed to be stationed somewhere warm. She was a Seneca Indian born on the Tonawanda Indian Reservation from the Iroquois Nation in Western NY.  We always looked forward to her visits. At bed time my sister and I would take turns sleeping with her when she stayed with us. It was such a treasure. We'd scratch her back as she'd tell stories of when she was a little girl.  Mostly of what life was life growing up on the reservation where we're from and what it was like "back then".  She was born in 1903, so she had plenty of years of experience and my sister and I were always fascinated with her and her siblings and life on "The Rez"...I'm digressing, but I know that's where my fascination comes from. I want to know the stories behind those dimmed bright eyes, the story of the wrinkles on their hands and face.  I want them to know that they MATTER!

Upon moving seats I saw that he had two hearing aids, inwardly I groaned and chuckled, I knew the challenge ahead!  I wondered how this was going to go, especially since I didn't know Japanese and his English was very difficult to understand.  We soon found out that we both live in Kusabana, and after further probing on his part of where, we realized that we live on the same road about a mile apart.  He asked if he could stop by sometime and, of course, I said, "Yes!"  What made me giggle next is that he pulled out his cell phone and asked for my number and if we could take a picture with one another -  He was 81!! Those tech savvy Japanese!

Over the course of the year since we've met, he has shown David and I "his country".through "his eyes".  I love this man.  He has welcomed me into his home and into his life.  I can ride my bike to his home and take "tea" with him and his wife.  I am greeted with "Dozo, dozo" (come in, come in) by both of them.  Mrs Kobayashi does not speak a word of English, but her warm smile and eyes remind me of my grandmother.  There is such a kindness there that when I sit down on the floor at the table - I am home.

My grandfather died when I was 5. I miss him. I didn't have that experience of knowing him. But meeting Kobaya san has given me that experience of having a grandfather. He calls just to say hello and check on me.  When his garden produces the newest vegetable he shares it with me.  Oftentimes I come home and I know he's been by by the goodies on my stoop.  He has taken me to many local dance ceremonies at his shrine, I even went to the March 3rd "Bean Ceremony" where it's a mixed combination of Mardi Gras and Puxatawny Phil...that's for another story.  Last year on my birthday he showed up with the most beautiful two dozen tea roses I'd ever seen ~ it made me weepy, I was so touched.  So this June 6th he will turn 83.  What do I get someone who has EVERYTHING? He is totally enthralled with the Western culture and the US.  Volunteering with American Red Cross on base here he has met many important people who have given him various trinkets and tokens from America.  But he means more to me than some friend from work, he's family.  Each time I visit Kobiya san's home he's always showing me pictures. He's always taking pictures. Then I realized, that's it! I'm going to make a photo album for him of our past year together.  It's taken me all week to narrow down which photos I want, but what will make it even more special is that I will include pictures in there of our Gyoza Party tomorrow in my home.  What's so special about that?  Mr. Takahashi will be a guest here, as well.  They have not seen one another in 26 years.  I think that's pretty special!

Morning tea with Tak san

Yesterday morning I had the pleasure of having Tak San stopping by for a brief visit. It all started with a phone call to him about 8:45, except, it did not go as planned. You see, Tak San is 91 years old and a little hard of hearing without the help of is hearing aid. So our conversation went something like this...

Tak San: "Moshi, Moshi"

Me: "Hello Tak San, Ohiyo Gozymas" (Good Morning)

Tak San: "Moshi, Moshi"

Me: "Moshi, Moshi?"

Tak San: "Hai"

Me: Hello, Tak San this is Lori"

Tak San: Moshi, Moshi...

I'm sure you get the gist so after about 5 minutes of moshi, moshi and Chota matte, kudusai (just a minute, please) and Tak san readjusting his hearing aide we decided that it was best he stop by my home. He lives in an apartment about two minutes away...maybe about 5-10 minutes for him, depending on how he feels that day.

I'm drawn to this sweet man. I think because he reminds me of my grandma Blueye.  He is a very soft spoken man, who is very hard of hearing and likes to make jokes, too.  He says that his Japanese friends don't understand him because they don' t have a sense of humor. This makes me chuckle because he got a big kick out that just telling! There is also a gentleness to him and I suppose that's what brings about the similarities.  I wish that I had a picture of him and I didn't think to ask him yesterday while we sat outside in the morning sunshine drinking tea.  His brief visit lasted 2.5 hrs and ended when the noon whistle blew.  I wish it hadn't, I would have loved to have visited with him longer...but in those few hours this is what I learned:

Tak san was born Jan 30,1921 in Ohme City.  He grew up in Tachikawa and attended University in Shinjuku where he studied engineering. When he was 12 he studied English from an American lady who married a Japanese man.  Back then it was rare for Japanese to learn English. Back then if you were educated in the Sciences you spoke German, and if you studied the Arts it was French because those are the two countries where many attended university.  He was 19 when Tokyo was first bombed during WWII.  He was eating Soba noodles and wondered why the Japanese military were doing practice runs on their own people? They never imagined that it was the US.  He said the emperor's guards hoisted balloons around the palace so that the pilots would know not to bomb it.  It was only later did they realize that it was General Dolittle who bombed them then crashed in China.  He said that the Japanese had the highest respect for him because it took a lot of courage, bravery, and sacrifice to do that knowing he might not return home. This statement surprised and awed me.  It's hard to wrap my brain around what they must have thought and felt towards America back then being an American living here now. 

Tak san was married for almost 63 years and  they had 4 children - 3 sons, and 1 daughter; and 8 grandchildren each with one boy and one girl.  His sons live around the metropolitan Tokyo area sadly, he never hears from them.  This includes the son that lives in the same apartment complex as his. This saddens me. You can tell this makes him very sad, but he bucks up and says that they must work all day to provide for their wives.  His wife passed away Oct 26, 2010. He misses her every day.  On the 26th of each month he visits her grave and brings her flowers.  When he wakes up he tells her good morning, and before he sleeps he tells her goodnight and thanks her for staying with him throughout the day and night.  He says that not a moment goes by where he wants to share something with her, or he is reminded of her.  When he threads a needle, he is reminded of her. When he pours tea, he is reminded of her.  This made me cry...it was hard not, but he just went on to say that to him she was the Best Wife.

Currently, he is staying in a small apartment that his son rents for him until his son's house is built.  Then he'll go live with them upon completion. He gets very lonely if he stays cooped up too long during the day so he amuses himself by riding the bus around town and people watch.  He makes me laugh!  He says that he wonders why Japanese are so serious all the time..he watches their faces on the bus and wonders what they are thinking? Where are they going? They must not be happy people because nobody smiles.  I can't say for sure whether they are unhappy, but I do know that it's rare to see Japanese people smile out in public unless they are amongst their intimate friends.  Sometimes, he'll ride the bus to the local mall in town just buy some candy or he'll go to a store that sells international foods so he can send it to his daughter up in Hokkaido, where she lives in a small country town.  During one of his outings he found a little hidden cafe where he'll have lunch at sometimes.  That's if he's "feeling physically fit to walk there" he proclaims with a chuckle.  This statement made me laugh out loud because at 91 he walks EVERYWHERE!  He has promised to take me there sometime - we'll walk, of course!